accordingtomymom's posterous

I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a...

Mom: what does "baller" move mean? sounds bad, does it refer to being brave or something? like Nick's "grow a pair?"
me: yah like big shot, show off
 Mom: crude
  sounds bad, you should change it on your facebook
me: whatevs mom!
  i'm not changing something i wrote over a week ago
 Mom: you should not talk online about balls
me: maybe you should understand modern lingo
  baller is not the same as saying "balls"
 Mom: eww, no  
 
  refers to em, right?
me: a baller refers to a big shot person
it comes from basketballer
  someone really good at basketball, or baseball I guess
  Mom: i guess that is different

Larry David sympathy

I just bought dad and I an electric mattress pad for the king size bed. Shan said they are great, so I got one. Have not got it on the bed, yet though. I am not sayin  you need that out there, just telling you about our new purchase. They are like 169 dollars, but I got it on sale at Kohls for $85- with 30% off that price, and $35 off on a gift certificate which was an award that Dad got from Dow, so it cost me $28 on my Kohls card in the end! And I got $10 Kohls cash! for another visit. Nice. You know, I think that is what is should cost, about $30 for real and no more!
 
So I went back to spend the ten dollars in K. Cash, and got Dad something for xmas (not sayin cuz he reads my emails), and it was on sale shown on a big sign for $60 but when went to purchase it, they charged me $70. So I complained, and went to the customer service and they took the  $10 off.  So I saved $20 on that thing with the KCash, as well as the false advertising. Man, I feel like Larry David, he always does stuff like that, complaines when stuff is wrong. And he gets them to change it.

At Easter time, Jesus counts

Grandpa called me today to say that Uncle Keith is really bad off and in the hospital. I guess his liver is shutting down and they don't hold much hope of him living very long. He is very old now, almost 90...Anyway, that will be two people who have died in our family. Nick says it comes in threes but that we can count Jesus for one of them, so it is done.
 
I am wondering how your kitchen came out?
 
Love,
MOM

Paranormal Activity

My mom decided to watch 'Paranormal Activity' when my dad was in Germany for work, and my brother was going to his girlfriend's for the weekend. She asked him if it would be okay to watch alone, and he said "oh sure mom, it's fine. Just so you know, it's based on a true story." So she watched it and got completely freaked out in the house by herself, in the country-miles from any neighbors. She took all the cats up to her room and locked the door and could barely sleep all night. She called me the next day, still freaked out, then sent an email to my dad and me, telling us she was going to be okay.

I called Luke and he is coming over to spend the night. We are having a movie night with popcorn and brownies. I am so happy that I don’t have to be frightened another night. I hate to be scared alone.

Luke did point out that if I were here alone with the demon, he would just possess me and I would not even know it or care. But if I am here with Luke, the demon may go into Luke and then I will be in trouble. That is sound logic.

But, I thought of this later, the demon actually scared the wits out of both of them before finally entering the girl completely, so that is what I was trying to avoid. I don’t want it to stare over me while I am asleep in my bed or wake me up by walking around the house and turning the lights on and breaking the pictures on the wall, or going up into the attic and leaving the trap door open, or pull me out of bed to the floor and drag me down the hallway.

Anyway, nothing will happen with Luke here.

Love to you both.

MOM

Cuddle a cat and live longer!

I just read this today: Cuddle with a Cat: Cat owners are 40% less likely to die of a heart attack and 30% less likely to die of any other type of disease than people who have never had a cat. Interacting with cats reduces anxiety and stress. Plus cats need less time and care than dogs but pets in general, even fish, are associated with better health in owners. Plus (in my opinion) cats are cute and make you happy to watch them, and keep you from being lonely, you can talk to them and they always listen. And they always want you to love and cuddle them, which makes people feel needed and loved. So it's true.

Here are ways to live longer: 1. Meditate  2. Take a multivitamin  3. Have good friends  4. Stay active  5. Brush and Floss  6. Eat this meal: red wine, fish, fruits, veggies, almonds, garlic, and dark chocolate  7. Go to bed early and get at least 8 hours of sleep  That is the last one, it helps your carb metabolism so you don't age prematurely and slows any onset of diabetes.

Hey, guess what, Dad took my blood sugar last Saturday morning after being on the no carb during the day diet, and it was 98. It has NEVER been that low. Plus I get like 9 hours of sleep a night and take a handful of his organic herbs and vitamins. He says I will live a long time. And of course cat cuddling is the MOST important. I have to show this to Dad and tell him that if he cuddles the kitties, he will live far longer. Oh, I forgot one, Seek maritial harmony. Hmmm, better work on that too.

Love,
MOM